14 - A God, Awake

Lin

I decided to sleep for most of today. (Hence the lateness of this blog post.)

I slept for a lot longer than I would have liked, but hey.

Sleeping Beauty, or Princess Aurora, seems to really be a theme with regards to me, my true appearance and my trauma. 

If you think about it this way, the original faery tale has Sleeping Beauty get sexually assaulted in her sleep, so in truth, it's not that far off.

The wrestling last night was good, though I miss Sheamus. (I'm happy that he's taking time off to get married, though. He deserves it.) Myself and my nice neighbour spent some time together earlier than I usually turn up, as he'd just been out, so I got to have more of a full conversation with him.

It was nice.

We spoke about a few things, including how a lot of my spells in my Etsy shop worked with regards to who I called upon and how reliable their word was, among other things.

It makes me happy that he was genuinely interested in how it works, that someone was interested in hearing about what I do.

I guess it's been a while since I've had multiple people like that in my life.

Today is my freeversary. It's been three years since I cut all ties with my abusers and left. 

It feels strange to say, but I'm happy to say it.

Three years isn't long, but it also kind of is. I turned 20 this year. Two more years of being alive than they intended for me.

If I'm honest, I'm lucky to be alive.

I mean, I've died eight times in this life alone. Most people don't die once before they meet death.

Eight times is an unnatural amount of times to die.

I won't go through most of the methods now, one, because they're triggering, and two, because mentioning things like getting my head cut off and having to sew it back on complicates everything.

And now I've done it.

Weirdly though, I am happy today. Somehow, I made it out alive, and I have an independent life of my own.

Sure, I haven't moved out yet, but I will do soon.

It's great now that I get to make my own timeline. I have my powers back, which is great, as well as being able to afford good food on a regular basis. The cult, nopeman and his goons had been sucking me bone dry.

Now that I've claimed the current town I live in, he can't touch me, and neither can anyone else.

As I think of this, a silver cufflet appears on my altar in the nemeton. There's a note attached to it.

"Guess who?"

I laugh, taking in the rubies and garnets that adorn the metal, and click it into place around my upper right arm.

Thanks, Briony.

Myself and Briony have dated for a long time, I think we began to not long after the Sim was first initiated. 

We had always been close as it was, given that we came from the same homeland.

She has always taken care of me, and I appreciate her for that. 

Trugarez. Karout a ran ac'hanout.

Filling Erebus' bowl with more cat food, I smile.

Every day is one step closer to reaching my family.

And as I plant myself against the wall of the nemeton, Erebus purring on my lap, I stare into the daylight, fading now, but hope largely remains.

I will find you.





 

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