3 - A God, Waiting

Lin

My head hurts. It's been hurting since just before I left my neighbour's room after yet another wrestling and movie night. 

It's worth the headache for the entertainment, and his company.

Currently, I wait for a Starbucks order from Deliveroo. It'll be the first pumpkin spiced drink I could get my hands on this season, and it'll be worth it.

Sweet coffee is my jam.

But my life is always like this - waiting for my headache to stop, waiting for help, waiting for money; waiting for something, waiting on people.

Waiting on the world to change.

Stop it. You'll hurt yourself.

I wish I could change it myself. I wish I had the courage, the knowledge, the skills to change it myself. But the wheel is hard to push alone.

Do I even want a wheel? What do I want it to be?

My nemeton feels warmer with the candlelight still very apparent, though I have eaten the mooncake.

Thank you, Poppy.

The walls are still as granite coloured as ever, but there is more light in here than ever. That's when I realise.

There's daylight streaming into my nemeton.

When was the last time I saw daylight?

And there's a rose, too. A burgundy rose, similar to the ones often offered to my mother's nemeton.

That's not a coincidence.

The rose is wrapped in what looks to be parchment. So I open it up. 

Ah.

This is not for the blog's eyes. It's too... personal.

But one thing I can say: I'm not by myself. I'm being taken care of now, even if I don't know it.

Trugarez, my love. We'll find each other.

The ones who separated us will regret it. And this Sim will be returned to its former glory, to what it was supposed to be - a centre of healing.

Mark me. I will win.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

51 - A God, Reaching

Lin  Yesterday I had a panic attack almost as bad as the one I had at UC about a month ago. When they come up, it's crippling. I always knew that my panic attacks came from the concern of how much physical energy I would have to do a certain thing, and whether or not I'd end up being vulnerable in a public place. Again, it was always mrs voldy who said I was vulnerable, when in truth, I am about as vulnerable as anybody else who is white and femme presenting. Which is, to an extent, vulnerable, but not the sort that I was being led to believe. And anyone without the proper support they need is vulnerable to an extent. My limbs and head ache with the tension that I was doing my best to avoid. My kidney isn't particularly happy, either. I'll bet you anything that if the doctors ever get a look at my kidney, they'll find a laceration where I was stabbed. It's not subtle. They'll see it. And then the voldys will be in serious trouble. I had to speak to another c
Read more

266 - A God, Green

Lin I visited Greenwich today. After the reclaiming last night, it only felt right. What I found there is still something I'm processing. Let's just say that the people of Greenwich remember me, and venerate me. They've built a statue of me near the Millennium Sundial, marking the entrance to a huge nemeton that spans from there across Greenwich Park, to the Cornish Rebellion Memorial. Knowing that the people and spirits of the area remember me and love me brings tears to my eyes, even now. Somehow, I managed to do what I set out to in the first place - take back the meridian that's mine. Frankly, I thought I'd have to wage all out war to get it back - and I'm so grateful that I figured out a quicker, more peaceful way of liberating Greenwich. Currently, I'm back at the first nemeton, helping Arthur with his maps. My new nemetona have now been marked on the map, and some of mine and others' older ones are also being dug up by the timeline enchantment I p
Read more

300 - A God, Shedding

Lin Over the past few weeks, my energy has felt really low, both physically and mentally. But especially mentally. Physically, it's started to become worse, particularly after switching between distance reiki healers I use on YouTube. Yet something tells me that with this change, I'm shedding energy, like an old skin - just like I would in my Gorgon form, shedding snake skin from my hair every now and again . As they like to say... "Out with the old, in with the new." Take today, for example, when some people came over to clear up the house's greenery, which was long overgrown - that had to be pruned in order to make way for the new. I'm considering asking my caseworker about the kinds of flowers we could put in our garden - though they would need maintenance.
Read more