9 - A God, Believing

Lin

I'm struggling to find words today. There's a lot of maintenance work I need to do on myself.

The rhetoric that the UC worker gave me last Friday about me not taking care of myself, whilst true, remains as abrasive as ever.

I admit, I'm having difficulties with the very thought of doing any of it, given that as it stood, I wasn't ready to go to hospital, or speak to doctors about my problem. 

This is bin boy's fault.

But I won't dwell on him today, because I know I'm a better person than him, and I'll be reporting his heinous shit tomorrow.

He'll be facing a prison cell, mark my words.

Besides that, I'm actually in a fairly good mood. Halloween's nearly here, and I have an eventful November to look forward to. If I can sort myself out in time and get into a routine, it may become easier for me to move out.

I need to change my energy frequency for sure.

I'm excited. Two concerts and a music industry event with other musicians that I've wanted to go to since I was 15. I'll finally be able to go.

I'm no longer under my abusers' thumb. I can go where I want to now.

I always knew that my stay here would be temporary. Even if I worry that I'll never leave, I know I'll get out of here. I've claimed this town now, so nopeman can't control me any more, and neither can one eye. 

They always try, but never succeed. They tried to make me forget about a lot of things, but that seemed to fail as well. Two pathetic excuses for existence.

This is something I haven't yet explained, which only Gods from the Sim control room can do. We make deals with local ancestral spirits to essentially stake 'ownership' of a place. It makes it so that the person making the contract with said ancestral spirits 'rules' the area spiritually. 

And I have taken one of nopeman's most valuable assets right from under his feet.

I think the ancestral spirits of the area are happy that the new person who's made a contract with them isn't an abusive bully, and most certainly not a manipulative crackhead.

Yeah, I know about that. And not all addicts are bad people, but you make them look awful.

If I keep going, I believe I can reach the level of greatness that I once had before nopeman stole everything from me to try to make me his slave, his trophy wife.

There's only one person I'm a wife to, and it's not you.

I managed to summon a storm yesterday. A full show of thunder and lightning. Sure enough, Tarassäs is in my possession now. And tonight, I'll be able to ride the lightning bolt again. I can feel it in my bones.

This is what it is to be a God.

As I ruminate on this, another timepiece apports onto the altar in my nemeton. The clouds outside are obvious, but the light from outside and the candle still make the nemeton bright.

Wait.

I know what this timepiece is.

But my husband had that.

If I have this now, he must have made the call that it was safe to return to me.

My artifact.

I didn't expect to have it back so soon, but here we are. I suppose some of you are wondering what an artifact is in godly terms.

It is a sacred object that a God uses to carry out their highest duties.

Holding the silver pocketwatch in my hands, I run my thumb over the Greek letters engraved on the back. 

"Property of _______, the Lightning Bolt. A blessing from your grandmother, _______. Always be safe, always be wild."

He promised to keep it safe for me. And he has. 

Trugarez. Karout a ran ac'hanout.

I miss you. Stay safe, my love.

The timepiece pulses in my hands, the memory of all of time flooding into my mind, threads becoming even clearer than they once were.

This is what it is to be a God.

I put the timepiece in my pocket.

I have returned.




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