30 - A God, Choosing

Lin

I did my second POV yesterday.

I had intended to have a bath, but because one of my orders went horribly wrong, I had to postpone it until today.

Luckily I have food from last night to eat, so I don't have to wait for anything else, besides a wait time for brushing my teeth.

Which once I eat, will probably only be about half an hour.

Today's the day of my first concert in more than two years.

I'm really excited.

I've been listening to Evanescence since I was a kid, and to Within Temptation since I was a teen, so this is basically me fulfilling a childhood dream.

The Voldys would have never taken me.

Anything like concerts had to be vetted and liked by all of them or nobody went.

The only time I got to see something without any of them was the Rock Assembly, and I still hold pride over being able to see Rizzle Kicks and Example without them.

Sure, it was with secondary school, but still.

Voldy Jnr was in Year 11 at the time anyway, so she wouldn't have attended, even if she'd wanted to.

This will also be my fourth concert I go to after being free.

Here's to more of those concerts.

Live music always makes me happy.

I can't wait for when I'm back on stage again.

I have a music networking event on Saturday, so I'm sure that I'll be able to get some benefits from being there.

If I do get noticed, it may very well be the start of my career.

I actually had a weird dream earlier, and I feel like it means something.

I remember this snotty prince being on a set for a film, and his mother being just as snotty, trying to hurt her other son's dog with poison. But the gran of the family gave me something, and I feel weirdly as though she was telling me to claim some kind of inheritance or ruling. She then took the poison meant for the dog herself.

It's a weird dream, but somehow, feels like it was definitely meant for me. I was seeing myself in third person, too.

Maybe I'll do some divination reading about it later. Probably not today, given how much I have to prepare.

I need to make sure that I stay serene for everything to work.

Panicking won't solve anything.

All I need to do is look Petrifition in the eye and smite him.

I need not be bothered by him. I am more powerful than that, and as a God, I am choosing to be more powerful than the fear.

I'm weirdly jittery all of a sudden, but that's probably just because I haven't travelled anywhere on the Tube that I remember since just after my panic attack that sent me to the hospital.

I managed to get myself from A to B just fine back then, so I can probably do so today as well.

It's probably just anticipation, which will subside soon enough.

It's something good to look forward to.

I just got hugely distracted, wow.

Let's not do this today.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with a specialist about my situation mentally, so if I can keep myself together until then, it should all be fine.

I just need to have faith, and a whole lot of self respect.

Today I'm going to go out there and be me.

And absolutely nothing is going to stop me.

As I promise myself this, a small portable mirror and a silver coin apparate onto the altar in my nemeton.

Aphrodite!

You have nothing to be afraid of, cousin.

She's probably one of the Gods that I've worked with the closest, and I'm happy that she's showed up, honestly.

Of course! You've helped me a lot recently.

You got my offerings, I'll assume.

Yes I did.

I'm surprised you didn't offer anything earlier.

I wish I could have done, but I'm in high demand.

Fair point.

Aphrodite has always been popular, so her inability to make time for me isn't that much of a surprise. Heck, I'm pretty sure her sleep schedule doesn't exist.

You're telling me, lol.

I actually feel surprisingly calm now.

I'm glad.

She's good at making people feel comfortable.

By the way, if you want me and Reynolds to help with your makeup later, we absolutely can.

Please! I'd love that.

Either way, it's your choice. Always remember that, Lin.

Trugarez, cousin. Do you want anything?

No need to offer anything more than you already have, Lin.

I really do appreciate that.

Well I have to go now, as my time is short. But if you ever need anything, please ask.

With that, she's gone.

She rarely stays for long, but I enjoy it when she does.

Erebus and Nyx snuggle on my lap, and I gaze out of the nemeton window.

Today, I kill the fake fear. 

Smite.


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