34 - A God, Growing

Lin

I'm much more relaxed today than I was yesterday.

Seeing Gaia helped me think much more clearly.

Now that I know about bin boy's further involvement for sure, I feel better about holding him accountable for it.

I think last night I may have hit him spiritually with something in system, as it felt as though I almost scared myself with my anger. I quickly realised it wasn't me, though.

For now, I'm just glad to see the back of him.

When I'm ready to, I'll bring them all to justice, one by one.

Today I'm meant to be seeing my caseworker to sort a few things out.

They seem to genuinely have my best interests at heart, even if they sometimes struggle with keeping to their schedule. But they do take care of twelve people, which they're not supposed to, so it's not like they have much choice in the matter.

I feel in a lot of ways that I'm growing as a person, as a God, as a being.

I've honestly never felt stronger.

Surprisingly, after only a day of rest, I've managed to at least partially bounce back to how I felt before.

I know that's something to be proud of.

As I write, I get a message from my caseworker, cancelling yet another appointment with me.

On the bright side, it's less for me to stress about, especially given what I'll be doing tomorrow.

Tomorrow I'm supposed to be going to the Ultimate Seminar. 

It's a music industry networking event with guest speakers from massive record labels and publishing companies.

Even thinking about it now makes me excited.

I don't get a sense of panic, so all should go well.

It's arranged partially by a man I met during my time in college, specifically SoundSkool.

He's a legend.

For now, I should rest up as much as I can mentally. I don't want to be too shaken up before I go.

It's meant to be a fun day, so let's make it a fun day.

As the day will start early, I may have to pass on the wrestling this week, but that depends on whether or not I feel up to it, and whether or not my neighbour does.

He cancelled on Monday, so he may cancel today as well, though he rarely cancels. I'll have to hear from him himself.

Either way, I'm excited. 

I'll need to get a new notebook to write in, but besides that, it should be fine.

I may even make some new friends.

That's something I would like for sure.

I'll spend today resting - and I'll try my best to take a bath again.

This time, let's hope I can.

I also know that the area the event will be held in will be safe, so that's also a plus.

Neither nopeman nor one eye own it, as far as I know, so I'll probably be in the clear.

I haven't done much music industry stuff as of late, so this will be the first in a long time since I tried to study it in university.

Most of that is the fault of my abusers and COVID.

We'll see how it goes on the day. If I can't go, I won't sweat it.

I'll prioritise my wellbeing first.

As I now have nothing to do today, I'll likely take a rest, unless you count the possibility of me travelling to Camden Town for Wasabi.

They do good food, and as Camden Town is very familiar to me, it would be a good test run to see if I'm ok to travel tomorrow.

Gods, I need some kind of anxiety killer.

I can't really tell if this is anxiety or excitement, but either way, I feel immobilised by it.

I need to remind myself that I am a God, and that these feelings will also pass.

Besides, this is something that I've always wanted, and I can back out at any point.

That is the main thing to remember.

If I do feel well enough to go, I think I'll enjoy it immensely.

Music has always been one of my passions.

As I think about this, a bronze statuette of a sitar apports onto the altar in my nemeton.

Saraswati!

She rarely sends gifts, so this is a welcome surprise.

Hi, lol.

Nice to hear from you! How's you?

Great! I wanted to say that you absolutely should go to that event, but only if you feel up to it.

It's rarer still for Sara to give me advice.

I'm glad to hear it, but why?

It should do some good things for you spiritually.

What kinds of things?

You'll see. ;)

I sigh, grinning. 

I'll take your word for it. How's Kali?

She's good, if you can call her raging good.

Raging is her normal state. I'll take it as a good sign.

That was out of pocket! :'D

Where's the lie though?

I can feel her smirking spiritually on the other side of this conversation.

You are something else, you know that?

That's what he said.

Stop. 😆

Alright, I'll behave.

She sighs, but I can tell she's still smiling.

You Greek Gods and your sex jokes.

You're welcome.

If I could see her, I'd assume she would be shaking her head in amused disapproval.

Hinduism has never been quite so generous with that kind of thing.

What about Shiva?

He's rude in general! At least, in Hindu terms anyway. Besides, he's an exception due to his position. Anyone else would get their arse kicked.

Fair point. Probably also partially my fault.

You heard him say it and so did I - he makes trouble all on his own without you having been his FWB at that time, Lin.

I know, but I can't help but wonder.

You're actually a pretty good example most of the time, so I don't think it can really be attributed to you anyway.

Ok, I'll take that.

I look forward to seeing you enjoy tomorrow's event, and I'll see you later!

See you, Sara! ^^

Smickering, I get out a brass timepiece, and a small statue of a horse, and put them on the offering altar. They asport.

I'll be there.