36 - A God, Optimistic

Lin 

I'm in a very good mood today.

It feels weird to say, but it's true.

Yesterday, I didn't really do much, but I didn't really need to.

Although when I took a nap, I had a rather disgusting dream about predator-prey dynamics that really did not feel right on a spiritual level. But again, that usually says that I'm getting to the bottom of the barrel.

The magpies chatter outside, and I smile.

One of my own icons making itself known again.

I don't usually look forward to each passing day, but today, I feel a lot better than I have for a long time.

I used to, but things got difficult here. It seems that times are changing again.

I was actually able to hold some semblance of a conversation with people on a group chat as well.

We talked about the Disney Pixar shorts, which I enjoyed immensely. My favourite is La Luna.

La Luna is my comfort short for sure. The message it sends has always resonated with me.

It's essentially asking people to allow for a person to have their own way of doing things, and to not force your own ideology onto others.

Being allowed to be myself was all I ever wanted, and now I have that. Sure, only after I escaped, but even so - it's an achievement for me.

My abusers would never have allowed it, and often tried to force me into doing things, in a very similar way to ABA.

But now I'm free from them, and I'm free from nopeman. Free from the whole fucking lot of them.

And they can go and do backflips off of Mount Everest for all I care.

Aside from dealing with bin boy on occasion, this may be the safest I have felt in my life.

He can backflip off of Mount Everest too.

But ya, I think I'm the safest I've ever been in the past, maybe 200, 300 years, give or take.

Spiritual knowledge can be very useful when you know what to do with it.

Today, if I feel ok to, I may wash my hair and take a bath.

After everything I've had to miss due to anxiety, I deserve that much.

If I see my neighbour, I'll ask if we're still on for Monday.

We probably will still be on for the wrestling.

As I think about this, a rather ornate battleaxe appears on the altar in my nemeton. Upon closer inspection, the engravings are very much Gaulish. I know where this was forged.

Ludias.

Which means...

Caturix!

Caturix is my grandfather, and has been known to be a God of War for a long time. He has more to him than that, of course, but few people know he's also a smith and a carpenter, as well as a guardian of birds. 

Alo, grand-offspring.

I can't help but laugh.

Alo, Granda.

I just spent about half an hour looking for our family tree, and have just realised that I'll have to make a new one.

Don't worry about that. We can make one when you feel less stressed.

Trugarez.

Of course. You should probably eat soon, too.

I will. What brings you all this way?

Love for my grandchildren, and reassurance about the dreams they have.

Ah. So you know about the one I had yesterday?

Unfortunately, yes. Fortunately, it is a good portent. Often getting the worse dreams means you're nearing the end of deprogramming, which is always a good sign.

Trugarez to the Gods, honestly. 

Indeed. It can be a struggle to deal with on your own, so if at any point you do need help, please do ask.

I will. Cheers, Granda.

Of course. ^^

I search within my offerings collection for hammered silver jewellery that I crafted myself, and leave the ring and pendant, adorned with green aventurine and clear quartz on the offering altar.

Wear it proudly, if it can be.

My grandchild made these - of course I will. :)

I'm more than happy for you to visit as often as you want. 

Trugarez. I'll keep that in mind. For now, I'll say ken tuchant. 

Ken tuchant, granda. 

The offerings disappear, and I sigh.

Take care of yourself.

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