100 - A God, Sovereign

Lin

I actually managed to eat a full meal in one go today.

Whilst I did struggle initially in getting myself to do it, I know now that it's something to be proud of.

I admit that I am nervous about tomorrow, but I also know that it'll most likely change my life for the better.

Plus, I'll also have my caseworker there with me. So if anything happens, I won't be alone.

What's more is that I came into some money yesterday that could get me through the rest of the month, which would be really helpful.

I will need my caseworker to go to the post office with me to claim it, though. I'm not sure I'm in a position to go out on my own right now.

Somehow, I feel like good things are coming my way.

I managed to let go of some baggage yesterday, which I really needed to. They say to open some doors, you have to shut others. And it seems that I have.

I'm lucky to be in the position I'm in right now.

Everything works out for me.

I've also been getting communications from my university about this year, and honestly, I'm excited.

Part of me worries about how able I'll be by that point, but a lot can change within a few months, so who knows? Nothing is yet set in stone, and perhaps I can see this uncertainty as a wonderful example of time being in its own flow, and the Tapestry not yet having a clear pattern for that stretch of time.

Maybe, scratch that, it'll be likely that I will be the one to weave that myself.

And if that's the case, I can make it look however I want.

I am the God Of All, God Of None, the Holder Of Time, the Weaver Of Lives, the Universal Translator, the Lightning Bolt.

I will be recognised. And I can change the circumstances I'm in right now, because I deserve to, and have the power to.

A change is in the wind. I can feel it.

You're right.

Nyx places her hands on my shoulders.

And you won't be alone any more.

Yet again, I find tears in my eyes.

Do you think I'll get through this?

She smiles gently.

If you can get through the horrors that the voldys and rickmansworth did to you, then you can get through anything.

And our secret?

We'll keep, until the time is right. You'll know when.

I nod.

It's getting dark soon.

Yes.

She pauses, then speaks.

Tomorrow will be kind, too. And again, you won't be alone.

As she says this, a silver trophy appears on my altar in the nemeton.

I know who it is, but I must keep quiet for now. At least, until the situation shows up in the physical.

Thank you, Nyx.

She opens her arms, and I sink into her embrace.

Whatever you need, you can always ask for from any of us.

She strokes my head.

We honour our promises.

I look up, and she nods.

I appreciate it. Genuinely.

She lets go of me, but not before stroking my cheek.

Stay well, Litavis.

I will.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

300 - A God, Shedding

Lin Over the past few weeks, my energy has felt really low, both physically and mentally. But especially mentally. Physically, it's started to become worse, particularly after switching between distance reiki healers I use on YouTube. Yet something tells me that with this change, I'm shedding energy, like an old skin - just like I would in my Gorgon form, shedding snake skin from my hair every now and again . As they like to say... "Out with the old, in with the new." Take today, for example, when some people came over to clear up the house's greenery, which was long overgrown - that had to be pruned in order to make way for the new. I'm considering asking my caseworker about the kinds of flowers we could put in our garden - though they would need maintenance.
Read more

60 - A God, Sacred

Lin One of my online friends has vented to me about suicide again. As someone who has experienced it, ruminating on it really isn't worth it. And whilst it is easier said than done to get out of it, I'm not sure that I have the energy to drag this person out of this one.  As much as I want to help, I have problems of my own. That, and the person I'm speaking to is a few thousand miles away, which means that I'd have to buy a plane ticket to get to them if I wanted to see them, and that's not the kind of thing I have the money or time for, let alone the mental capacity. Last time I walked outside of my own front door, I had several panic attacks. I don't particularly want to do that again. I care, but first and foremost, my body, my mind, my spirit, and everything else that comes with me, are sacred. My sanctity of being is sacred. And that is the first thing I must work on in order to be able to help anyone else - my own sanctity. That is my first priority. I wa
Read more

299 - A God, Busy

Lin My day was far busier than I expected. A phone call with my MIND advocate and a call with a caseworker from the housing association, as well as two visits from the police have definitely taken it out of me. Frankly, I'm surprised at my own tenacity. But also very, very tired.
Read more