118 - A God, Processing

Lin

Today has been very strange.

I've been having especially vivid dreams, and I struggled to eat as much as I have for the past few days.

I did eat cake, but besides that, I haven't had anything else.

I do have pizza, but I'm a bit too anxious to eat it, as I thought I heard bin boy and his friends in the house earlier. I do think they weren't planning on staying for long, though, especially given that they know I'm around.

Well I just went to the toilet, and it doesn't seem like they're around, so that's good.

For Friday night, it's quiet here. Then again, my new neighbour had a date with her boyfriend, so I suppose it shouldn't be too surprising.

Also, I want to eat, but I don't think I can.

The worst part about it is that my body feels like utter shit because I didn't order in food earlier, as I ended up taking a nap, and so my body is retaliating whilst I'm simultaneously experiencing some form of panic attack.

I'm scared. 

So many emotions are coming up at once for me whilst this is happening, that I'm honestly not sure how well I can cope.

Weirdly, it feels like a lot of the feelings that are coming up are either being suppressed, blotted out or are disappearing.

It almost seems like a lite version of what I would usually experience.

The fear was really bad earlier, though.

I don't think I can do this alone any more.

As I realise this, I feel a gentle hand on my head. I turn, and Poseidon stands there, well dressed and well groomed. I can sense his concern. I then sense my throw being pulled around me, and being laid in someone's lap. 

Wait. I know that cologne.

Terrence...

He gently pulls me into his arms, and utters the word.

You're safe now. I've got you.

I don't want to die.

Lovely, we're not going to let that happen. Mat eo din?

His hands lead me into his chest, and I allow myself to snuggle there despite my anxiety.

Mat eo din.

Stroking my hair, he addresses both Manny and Da.

How long have they been like this?

I don't need to see them to know that they just exchanged looks of what I believe are probably sadness and worry.

Mat eo din, so it's been too long. Do they even have anyone in the physical, as Lin?

I can guess that they're shaking their heads. I hug Terrence slightly tighter.

I don't want him to be angry.

He's obviously noticed, because his stroking of my hair is getting slightly firmer.

I can only assume it's because of Gaia that myself and Poseidon are now involved in this, am I right?

I feel his focus move slightly off to the side, to who I assume is my Maman. She's most likely nodding, too.

Gwir. It looks like we actually need someone to properly seek Lin out now, then.

Gently, he raises my head out of my chest so that our eyes meet.

Are you ok with this, lovely?

I nod, loosening my grip again, whilst snuggling back into his chest. He smiles.

Great. Who do you feel you need the most right now?

I pause, deep in thought.

I think it would be best if it were either you or Freyja.

He nods, running his hands through my hair.

Mat eo din. I'll make sure that we both turn up in a way that's easy to access for you. Sound good?

Ya.

I tug softly at Terrence's shirt, and he casts me a questioning look.

Trugarez. Karout a ran ac'hanout.

A flicker of his lips turns into him full blown beaming in a matter of seconds.

Karout a ran ac'hanout, ma kared.  

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