144 - A God, Aspiring

Lin

Sometimes I feel like I have too much energy for this body.

There are many aspects to being a God incarnated that people don't usually talk about - and this is one of them.

Honestly, I have no idea where to put this energy, nor how to keep in good enough balance so that I don't overwork myself.

It's my assumption that this is part of the reason why the voldys took advantage of my energy - I have no idea how to control it, so they saw fit to take it away from me, despite they themselves having no idea how to use it, and therefore just parasiting off of me for their own gain, as opposed to actually helping me develop skills to manage my energy.

At almost any point, I am either too energised, or too tired.

Weirdly, right now, I am experiencing both of these sensations at the same time. As a dòngmâl person who did not ask to be put into this female body, this gast (breton for shit) fucking sucks.

Douez, I cannot be doing this.

My energy needs managing, and in order for me to properly do that, I need a physical teacher, like my uncle, or my father, to help me learn how to use this energy in a productive way whilst not burning myself out or freezing up in fear of losing said energy.

Once I find them, I think I'll have at least some peace.

Perhaps it won't solve everything, but it should solve enough to get me back on my feet.

As I think this, Freyja takes a seat next to me, quietly handing me a bag and an atlas. When I take a look inside the velvet pouch, I realise that it holds a collection of wooden runes painted jet black and gold.

Dankë.

She nods, smiling.

Do you want to make hot chocolate?

I have plenty now, I may as well share it.

I would like some very much.

We venture into the kitchen, and I turn on the hob. I pour some organic whole milk in a pan, mixing in the hot chocolate powder with cinnamon, allspice and a drizzle of honey. She grins.

Nice.

She pours in a shot of irish cream and sprinkles in a pinch of salt. We cackle at each other conspiratorially, and I can almost feel some of my family members looking at us with equal parts amusement and confusion. The pan comes to a boil, and I turn the hob off.

Ready?

Freyja has her head stuck in the fridge briefly, but quickly pops out again with whipped cream and marshmallows.

Yup.

We each take a share of whipped cream and marshmallows, clean up the mess we've made and sit ourselves back in the cinema room.

I put my hot chocolate down on the table for a minute, then spread out the atlas.

Let me guess, you're going to ask where we'll meet our destiny?

I smile.

Nah. I have a better question.

Where should we begin?

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