145 - A God, Mapping

Lin

Today has been full of narrow escapes.

First, I nap and end up dreaming of mrs voldy cracking my back.

In truth, I was in pain, but I know that she was doing it to try to shut me up, as opposed to addressing the real problem, which was my period being painful.

Then, my new runes tried to guide me into a cult area.

Whilst I could just claim the area and solve the problem, I need certain tools for that, as well as the time to do that.

And cleaning an entire area's energy doesn't end at claiming it, nor will it solve all of my problems. Though it could very well solve a few.

Really, I need to properly map things out and label them according to how safe they are for me to go to.

Given that I've bought an atlas, I absolutely should.

Somebody ruffles my hair, and as they sit down, I realise it's Terrence.

Tired?

I nod. I'm exhausted. He gestures for me to snuggle up with him, so I do.

It's been one thing after another today.

He strokes my head.

Ya, I know, lovely. I think you may be especially susceptible to difficult things right now.

Terrence has a point. Physically I have been going through a few rough patches recently, and now that I'm thinking about it, I get the sense that it's more than just an astrological problem.

Do you think I should go to the hospital about that?

Pausing, I can sense him contemplating how to answer. Given what I'm actually talking about, it's likely put him in a tough spot, and he may not be the best person to ask about it. But I feel safe to, and I think he understands that.

Only if you feel safe to, lovely. And that's the same with anything you're experiencing, including the wisdom tooth pain, among other things.

I nod. 

Trugarez.

He smiles.

Of course. You know it's alright to ask me, even if it's awkward. Mat eo din?

Mat eo din.

I snuggle further into his lap, and I sense him chuckle softly.

I think I might wait until I move.

He ponders that answer for a minute, then nods.

Actually, that's fair enough, given the experiences you've had with GPs over here. You deserve to be treated with respect, and I would think that you'd be treated with more decency elsewhere, if you're put in the right place with the right people.

GPs in this country aren't always the most accommodating to neurodivergent people, especially autistic people. Honestly, I'd feel safer if there was a specific portion of time spent in medical study, especially during university, on how to treat neurodivergent people like myself. 

Because we more often than not get mistreated by medical staff, who have no idea how to cater to our needs, and more often than not abuse their power as a result of knowing that they're less likely to be reprimanded over things that look like 'misunderstandings', even if they can tell they blatantly caused harm to a neurodivergent person.

Even with regards to mental health, I have been majorly ignored by 'professionals' who genuinely seem to have no concept of how to treat a neurodivergent person with some fucking respect. I have had too many times where my autonomy, my version of events and my understanding of my own needs have been questioned, mainly by neurotypical doctors, who are essentially out of their depth with me. 

To summarise, I have spent my life surrounded by countless professionals in both the medical and educational field who have more than one notion about how to treat neurodivergent people, which I've had to suffer through to figure out that not only is it entirely wrong, that the whole framework of the system meant to look after us is built on it. And so we circle back to square one, as they try to fit a square peg in a round hole. Again.

I don't know where to go for that, though.

He sighs, gently rubbing my back as he does.

You will, ma kared. We'll figure it out together. Sound good?

I smile up at him.

Ya, it does.