184 - A God, Asking

Lin

I almost lost my vision last night.

Waking up to your sight being blurred more than usual is quite unpleasant.

Luckily, a swig of Lucozade helped with that.

Honestly though, I'm still very immobile.

And it seems that bin boy's attacks on my person most definitely affected my ancestors, just as I had presumed.

Frankly, at this point, I'm not even surprised. I was just too anxious and tired to really do anything about it until now.

The amount of people who get off on the idea of harming Gods, thinking that they won't receive the consequences of their actions, is laughable.

I already know I have thalassaemia, which they can't touch - and it's likely that this arsehole made my ARFID ten times worse than it already was. Not to mention my appearance still hasn't changed, which makes me think I'm going to have to consult either Aphrodite, Aglaia or someone else about its links to said ARFID.

Terrence has stayed with me through most of this, as yesterday and today have been physically and emotionally taxing for me. 

Somehow, I just know I'm safe with him.

Overall, I've spent most of my day in bed, fighting hot flushes, hunger, dizziness, weakness, heart palpitations, temporary loss of vision, pain, shaking, anxiety and suicidal thoughts.

Ya, it's a lot to manage. But having my family in the nemeton helps - it means that even if someone were to attempt to sabotage my efforts in healing, they wouldn't be able to.

My caseworker also managed to vouch for me about a new fit note, which I really need for Universal Credit.

I filled out a form, so hopefully they'll deliver it to me via email before Thursday.

Despite everything, I do have some hope.

Parts of my system badly affected by bin boy's spiritual attacks are currently being cleaned and healed, which is a positive. My ancestors, family members and other spirit guides have made it very clear that his privileged bullshit can go to hell.

The crisis team are also meant to be visiting me tomorrow, so I'll voice all of my concerns with them.

Given my current situation, their intervention is seriously needed.

Whatever happens, I have faith that I'll get out of this soon enough.

I've been asking, and they have been delivering. I'll get there eventually.

Indeed ye will.

Turning, I spot a boy around my age with cropped jet black hair and the greenest of green eyes. He's as tall as ever.

Robb!

He grins, plopping onto the sofa and ruffling my hair. I nudge him gently with my head, and he laughs, allowing me to snuggle up with him. It's been a while.

I missed ye too, Plushie.

I can't help but smile.

Robb, as some of you may remember, is one of my many lovers - and a Welsh God. I don't have all of my memory back, so trying to guess which God he is has been difficult, though I know that it somehow relates to Shakespeare. (If you know, you know.)

Are you staying?

He nods.

Ye need healing, especially from the privilege stuff. It's been pretty nasty to most people in system.

I pause. I can't help but feel it's my fault-

Don't be blaming yerself, Plushie. He chose the wrong person to curse.

Robb rarely looks as angry as he does now. I tug on his sleeve as I sense him dwelling, and it ends up with me curled up on his lap. He chuckles.

Lin!

I sink into his chest, and he sighs.

Diolch, I've calmed down now, Plushie.

Do ye want some Buck Rarebit?

I nod somewhat enthusiastically, and he smiles.

Gwych.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

51 - A God, Reaching

Lin  Yesterday I had a panic attack almost as bad as the one I had at UC about a month ago. When they come up, it's crippling. I always knew that my panic attacks came from the concern of how much physical energy I would have to do a certain thing, and whether or not I'd end up being vulnerable in a public place. Again, it was always mrs voldy who said I was vulnerable, when in truth, I am about as vulnerable as anybody else who is white and femme presenting. Which is, to an extent, vulnerable, but not the sort that I was being led to believe. And anyone without the proper support they need is vulnerable to an extent. My limbs and head ache with the tension that I was doing my best to avoid. My kidney isn't particularly happy, either. I'll bet you anything that if the doctors ever get a look at my kidney, they'll find a laceration where I was stabbed. It's not subtle. They'll see it. And then the voldys will be in serious trouble. I had to speak to another c
Read more

266 - A God, Green

Lin I visited Greenwich today. After the reclaiming last night, it only felt right. What I found there is still something I'm processing. Let's just say that the people of Greenwich remember me, and venerate me. They've built a statue of me near the Millennium Sundial, marking the entrance to a huge nemeton that spans from there across Greenwich Park, to the Cornish Rebellion Memorial. Knowing that the people and spirits of the area remember me and love me brings tears to my eyes, even now. Somehow, I managed to do what I set out to in the first place - take back the meridian that's mine. Frankly, I thought I'd have to wage all out war to get it back - and I'm so grateful that I figured out a quicker, more peaceful way of liberating Greenwich. Currently, I'm back at the first nemeton, helping Arthur with his maps. My new nemetona have now been marked on the map, and some of mine and others' older ones are also being dug up by the timeline enchantment I p
Read more

300 - A God, Shedding

Lin Over the past few weeks, my energy has felt really low, both physically and mentally. But especially mentally. Physically, it's started to become worse, particularly after switching between distance reiki healers I use on YouTube. Yet something tells me that with this change, I'm shedding energy, like an old skin - just like I would in my Gorgon form, shedding snake skin from my hair every now and again . As they like to say... "Out with the old, in with the new." Take today, for example, when some people came over to clear up the house's greenery, which was long overgrown - that had to be pruned in order to make way for the new. I'm considering asking my caseworker about the kinds of flowers we could put in our garden - though they would need maintenance.
Read more