189 - A God, Perennial

Lin

I managed to make it through Saturday, somehow.

What's more, is my anxiety has been triggered far less, though eating is still touch and go.

The agency that the crisis team referred me to also called today, so now I have an appointment on Friday.

Uncertainty abounds on the subject of whether or not I'll be able to travel on my own if my caseworker is unable to take me, but we'll see.

Eventually I will be independent again, but not right now.

After all that I've experienced, I have come to understand that any help I get should be outright asked for consent wise, whether that be me myself asking, or someone else asking if I need help, and what help I need.

Honestly, I am nervous.

But I managed to make it through today. Even if I couldn't make it through, I'd be proud of myself - for making it as far as I have. 

For now, I'm going to do my best to keep going.

Despite everything that's been thrown my way, I am a God, enduring and rising from the abuse that was supposed to kill me, alive and gleaming.

My Da sits beside me and Terrence in the nemeton. I've been eating little and often when I can, but it hasn't been easy. Yet somehow I know that my father's blessing is part of what's keeping me alive in the physical, and it makes me want to continue to live.

Time has been very crass with me recently.

Da nods, smiling grimly.

Given the sorts of torture you've been forced to endure, it's hardly surprising that there would be some physical symptoms.

Yet you've mastered them, in a way - by allowing yourself to ask for help when it's gotten too much, and by seeking out your own resources when you can cope by yourself. 

You're resourceful, Lin - and you're my child. I want you to remember that, and to remember that I am proud of you. That I always will be proud of you and your achievements.

Right now, you fight a battle that most people wouldn't even dream of - a lot of which takes part on both the astral and in the mind. Most would run. But you haven't. And I will always admire that about you.

With that being said, I'll always be here to make sure that the road ahead is as smooth sailing as it possibly can be within reason. You're strong, but I want you to be happy first and foremost. You deserve that much.

So yes, Time has indeed been crass with you. But you are Time, and so am I. And from now on, I will always make sure that the timelines woven for you help you, just like you have done for countless others. Because you're my child, and I love you, and I will find you again. 

We'll all find you again.

Tears stream down my face, and Da reaches for the box of tissues as Terrence rubs my back.

We're doing what we can to find you now, alright? We're really close.

I nod, politely blowing my nose and snuggling further into his lap, at which both himself and Da grin.

I have no doubt you two will find each other soon enough. I have seen what the Universal Tapestry looks like, and it's looking pretty good.

I tilt my head in curiosity.

You see us finding each other?

He nods.

The Moirai have been leaving a lot for you in the near future, given that you can't weave with your own thread unless in exceptional circumstances. There will be a lot of fun stuff that's been planned for years coming soon, and moreso down the line.

Blissfully, I make myself comfortable by burying my head in Terrence's chest. He laughs.

Excited, are we?

He shakes his head, glances at Da, who's also chuckling, and sighs good naturedly.

I'm glad to know that I can be in Lin's life soon. Thanks for telling us both.

Da beams.

There's more where that came from, but you know the rules about Time.

Terrence nods.

Never say too much about fate-

-Or fate will find you in an alleyway.

Usually I don't interrupt, but I couldn't help it. The other side of the nemeton can probably hear us cackling.

Well that shit got dark fast!

It's what they always told us Time students, right, Da?

Yup. I think we actually had the same professor before you continued your tutelage under me.

I nod.

He was an immortal as well, right?

Yes, Lyman was an immortal, like us. Mysterious man. Good hair.

Gravity defying hair.

Terrence stares at us in utter confusion, and I utter an apology through my hands, doing my utmost not to laugh.

No, I like it when you guys reminisce like this. It gives me more to learn about.

Knowing about you both makes me love you that much more.

My heart swells with the utmost love, and I can sense my Da's affections towards both Terrence and myself, too.

Trugarez, both of you.

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