190 - A God, Still

Lin

I spent most of today sleeping.

Last night I struggled to sleep, as my neighbour ended up calling an ambulance.

Right now, I'm still struggling to eat, but it's not as bad as it has been.

Even so, I hope that social services assigns me someone soon - I can't do this alone. At least, not right now.

Frankly, I am scared. But I also know that at some point, I will get help, even if it's not now.

Just have to hold on until then.

No matter what I end up facing, first and foremost, I am a God.

And I will get through this.

Sweeney and Herne are sat with myself and Terrence in the nemeton today. At this point, it's no surprise that the people I've been needing most are from my father's line, especially given that this situation tends to affect me worst on weekends.

I wish it were easier.

Sweeney nods.

Aye, lad. We all do.

He ruffles my hair.

There are a lot of things waiting for ye. Good things. It's about time ye had good things in yer life.

Herne nods.

You've suffered for a long time through all of this, without much physical help. Now that's going to change.

My heart swells with hope. 

Does that mean what I think it does?

Herne pauses for a minute, exchanging glances with Sweeney, who responds with an affirmative nod.

Yes. You'll find a godly community.

Tears burn my eyes. Whilst I have been very lucky to have such spiritual encounters with my family members and my ancestors, among other spirits, I haven't had the fortune of meeting most of them in the physical as me. At least, not that I'd know of.

Quietly, Terrence puts his arms around me, taking the box of tissues from Sweeney's hand in my stead. He dabs gently at my face until I giggle, which sets him off too. Both Herne and Sweeney grin at this, clearly glad to see us both finding joy despite everything.

Trugarez, go raibh maith agat - both of you.

We all end up in a four way hug for a minute, branches and flowers growing from each of us - linden flowers from me, birch from Terrence and red clover from Sweeney. When we let go, the flowers scatter to the floor, and we all end up laughing at the small mess we've made.

Potpourri.

Sweeney cackles, and Herne sighs, but smiles.

You always have a good joke or two up your sleeve. Though I agree - potpourri.

He lifts the flowers from the floor, letting them float in the air for a minute as he searches for an appropriately sized bowl to keep them in. He comes back with a miniscule glass dish, which is perfect. The flowers drop in, and he sets it down on one of the dressers.

Are you going to turn up?

Terrence has his arms around me again, and I make myself comfortable, much to his contentment.

Herne nods.

At some point, yes, I will. Lin needs guidance - and a teacher. But they also need a knight to guard them when they cannot guard themself. Whilst I do trust you with that, I have no guarantee of the circumstances of your arrival.

Terrence nods.

Understandable. I don't know everything either, but I do know I'm getting closer.

He squeezes my hand slightly, and I nudge him in response, to which he laughs.

Yeah, I am, lovely.

Sitting in this house of worship of mine, I feel all of the love that my family and my culture has for me - and Gods, it hasn't felt like this in a while.

I smile.

I love all of you.

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