194 - A God, Resurrected

Lin 

As I lie in bed now, bearing with the pain of having a female body, I've realised something, as I do research on places that I know to be a part of my ancestry, on things that I'd like to do, to try.

Until now, I was preparing to die.

Now, it doesn't feel like that. In my future, it feels as though there are things that I can look forward to, and therefore stay alive long enough to enjoy.

I want to live.

For me, it matters now that I live long enough to see my family again, to bring my abusers to justice...

To see myself be a God, with all of the powers, abilities and truths that come with it.

Suddenly, it seems that life is more appealing to me.

Despite this pain, in spite of everything I've experienced, I want to exist, as the God that I am.

Part of me, naturally, is also absolutely terrified of this realisation.

My mind is stuck between self preservation and adventure, and honestly, whilst I know which path would suit me better, I fear actually taking it.

Realisation hits me again now.

Knowing what I know now, this fear comes from an extended period of punishment, that was used to keep others in control of me.

Given that my problems surround control and security, due to those things being reliant on highly unstable people, it's no wonder I need to live alone.

But I also need consistent company and support for my own wellbeing.

Having this in mind, balance is the best way of solving this.

Like keeping people close to me until I feel safe enough to travel and explore on my own again, and moving out as soon as possible to give me more personal space.

Zeus takes a seat next to me. I glance at him, surprised.

You're visiting?

He nods.

Of course. You need someone who understands the responsibility you've taken on, as well as your powers.

Now, I don't understand it all in the way in which your father does, but I do understand the leadership, and the protector role you've taken in order to best serve us all.

I also understand your lightning powers.

He grins, showing off his own thunderbolt arm, and I can't help but smile.

Ευχαριστώ. For being here.

Παρακαλώ. You're my great nibling, after all.

For a minute, we're quiet.

You're going to be alright. You remember that I have the gift of prophecy, ναι? 

I nod, taking a sip of my milkshake.

Well, I see you getting out of here by May or June. Everything should be sorted by August.

You really think so?

He nods.

Last time you read the tarot, it gave you a few sixes, right?

Ναι.

Consider them a testament to things working out by then.

I breathe a sigh of relief.

Ενταξει, ευχαριστώ.

He pats me on the back.

Παρακαλώ. And I'll be here until it all happens. Ενταξει?

Ενταξει.

We both bask in the silence for a minute. Then...

Do you want to watch Doctor Who?

Zeus smiles.

How far in are we?

Eccleston.

He nods.

A decent Doctor.

Go on, then.

I switch on the TV, and beam.

I want to live.

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