195 - A God, Patient

Lin

Mercury Retrograde decided to make itself known today.

Honestly, I did have the feeling that I may need to cancel my therapy session, but waited for confirmation, so I wouldn't end up making a fool of myself.

Besides that, today has been unusually peaceful.

Aside from some of the anxiety I had, my mood has actually been fairly good.

The inability to sleep properly has been awkward, though.

It was probably stress. I'll sleep eventually.

Given my situation, I decided to contact a spiritual emergence network about a few things.

When they respond, I'll be very happy.

Frankly, I am nervous about telling them that I'm a God.

That is, if I do at all.

I should probably read for it.

Shaking the rune bag, I ask about telling them about my godliness, and reach for a rune. Thuriaz stares back at me.

Thor's rune.

Thuriaz is the warrior rune, as well as being symbolic of good counsel and change. But most of all, it's Thor's way of giving me his support.

I shuffle my deck of cards to confirm this, and out pops The Star.

Yes. Tell them.

I smile. As I do, someone ruffles my hair. I turn, and standing behind me is my Maman.

Nozvezh vat.

She takes a seat beside me.

Reading?

I nod.

I'm considering telling a spiritual emergence network that I'm a God.

She nods.

You need to tell someone who has knowledge in that area. I can help with that, if you like.

Mar plij.

She smiles.

Mat eo din. Do you need or want anything else?

Snuggles?

Her smile widens until it becomes a chuckle.

Snuggles it is.

Wrapping us both in our respective throws, she allows us both the most comfortable positions possible, whilst also providing some much needed affection.

I miss you.

I know, ma môr. We'll find you, mat eo din?

Mat eo din.

Do you think I'll be able to properly make subliminals again soon?

She pauses for a moment.

I think so. Once you get out of this environment and get provided with the tools you'll need, I would think that you'll be able to do it.

Same with your music, and your writing. Acting as well. You have a lot of dreams, Tavi, and I can definitely see you fulfilling them if you decide to.

You're my child. I have every faith in you. Every faith that you can be independent, and still work on your art, and be famous for it, if that is what you wish for.

My lightning bolt...

You'll always be capable in my eyes.

Tears well up in my eyes. 

Ever since I can remember, the voldys made it very clear that they thought I was incapable, and made every effort to keep me in that box, despite my protests.

Now my real mother is saying she believes in me. I never thought I'd hear that from a parent, let alone a maternal figure.

Trugarez.

She rubs my back, reaching for the tissue box.

Ma plijadur. You're an incredible person, and I will always believe that, no matter what happens.

There's so much good in you. Never lose sight of that.

As she says this, she gently raises my head, and blots away the tears, snot and drool that have attempted to make a home on my face.

Karout a ran ac'hanout.

For a minute, she stops, and puts the tissue box back. When she turns back to me, she's beaming.

Karout a ran ac'hanout, ma môr.

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