209 - A God, Affection-Starved

Lin

I almost made a complete tit of myself today.

Think having to literally restrain yourself from giving non-consensual physical affection to somebody.

Come to think of it, this is the first time this kind if thing has happened to me since I left, where it felt like me having to prevent myself from doing something to other people.

Maybe it was the coffee mixing with my meds. In which case, it's probably best avoided.

Yet again, I dread the weekend.

At least it's only two days this time. 

Kuan Yin decided to make herself known today.

Frankly, it's a relief. Her being in my system makes me feel better.

Right now, I'm struggling to get myself to eat.

Honestly, I want to eat for the sake of my own health, but the nausea and general anxiety around eating is making it near impossible.

Brain swirling, I find myself falling into Kuan Yin's lap, and my vision fades to black.

 *******

Kuan Yin

Placing a hand on their head, I sigh. 

I'm pretty sure that Lin hasn't eaten in the past six hours.

No matter which way you put it, this isn't good.

Lin has always been good at controlling themself and their impulses, but a large amount of said control, without the right help, is tearing them apart.

Stroking their head, I reach for my phone to text Terrence.

Get here. Now.

Sent. 

I take a deep breath, and listen to Terrence's footsteps approaching the cinema room. He stops in the doorway.

Gast!

He bolts over, hands immediately going for Lin's forehead and right temple. For a minute, he pauses, taking in the sound of their breathing, and the sensations speaking to his fingers.

They blacked out, didn't they?

I nod.

They were very anxious, though they didn't seem to want to say it.

A torrent of curses in what I believe to be Walon pour out of him, then silence, aside from his heavy, frustrated respiring.

Gods.

Kneeling beside them again, he begins running his hands through their hair with the utmost care. His name comes out of their mouth, and he stops.

Lovely?

He says the word, and Lin responds in kind, before continuing.

Scared.

Terrence's expression changes to one of sorrow as he reaches out to stroke their cheek, a hand resting on their shoulder as they lie in my lap.

I know, lovely. I'm here.

Their eyebrows furrow, eyes still shut.

I almost kissed him.

He nods.

I know. But you didn't.

That's when their fear becomes clear.

What if there comes a point when I can no longer control these impulses?

I don't want to be punished again.

He sucks in a breath. Terrence's body language is giving all the tells of him seething. If I'm right, we've both come to the same conclusion.

Lovely. That wasn't you.

Their eyes open, and a look of consternation crosses their face.

But-

The Lin I know advocates heavily for consent, and takes the eyes of those who don't. 

Whoever this is, they're undermining that value, and I refuse to sit by and let them bully you.

He takes their hand in his.

Do you trust me?

They nod slowly.

Then take me to Deina.

They flinch.

How-?

Me in system. All versions of me love you, more than life itself.

They stare at him.

You're going to destroy her.

He nods.

Let me stay when you do.

I want to watch her crumble.

A conspiritorial smile crosses his face.

It would be my pleasure, m'amoûr.

They squeeze his hand, eyes shining.

Let's go.

*******

Terrence

We land in system, and Lin tugs at my sleeve.

This way.

We walk through the darkness, warily squinting into the black. They're trembling, so I begin to draw circles on the palm of their hand with my thumb. They gently squeeze my hand in response, and I can't help but want to comfort them.

I'll look after you. I promise.

They turn for a minute, and a small smile briefly appears in the gloom.

Trugarez, ma kared.

As we reach a red wire, they stop, and point.

There.

We'll have to limbo.

Lifting the wire, they usher me through, then follow.

Oh, you bitch.

A woman with red hair emerges from the shadows, enunciating in what sounds like a Lithuanian accent.

Going to hide behind your husband again?

Lin's rage rolls off of them.

Do you want to die?

Gently, I hold out an arm to block them, shaking my head. They back off, still shaking with a combination of anger and fear.

Save your energy for someone who's worth it, lovely.

Grabbing my scabbard, I unsheathe my sword, and point it in that bitch's direction.

You have some fucking nerve to harass my wife, you hag.

She laughs.

And I suppose you are going to do something about it?

I smirk malevolently.

You could say that.

As I say it, my sword begins to sing, voices echoing all around us, the blade now aglow with silver and blue light. The choir is my ancestors, chanting for her demise.

She stands back, eyes wide in terror.

The singing sword!

I nod.

Yeah. Funny story, how I got that.

By being the King of Bro Arc'hant.

She pales.

Please, spare me!

I plunge the sword into her neck.

No, I don't think I will.

As soon as I pull my sword out of her throat, her body falls like a sack of potatoes. My ancestors chorus of victory and love for Lin, and we both can't help but beam.

Trugarez.

Blood slicking the blade all of a sudden turns pitch black, gurgling.

Shit!

Death's head hawk moths begin to sprout, and Lin braces themself, hands bursting with electricity.

Not again...

But before they put it to good use, the sword calls out, exploding with aqua light, extinguishing all of the black until it's gone - including the darkness that we were in. Above us, is glass, the sky carpetted with stars.

The observatory!

Their face could light up a continent.

I love you.

They turn towards me, sweet as ever, adoration in their purple eyes. Their blond hair bounces towards me when they jump on me for a hug. I grin unabashedly.

I love you, too. More than anything.