211 - A God, Attracting

Lin

The beacon is lit.

And my father will answer.

Frankly, today has been shitty, but it's definitely considerably better than it has been.

My body has actually been much less groggy since me eating that burger, so that's been helpful.

Other than that, I managed to get myself to read some tarot today.

Hence the beacon.

I'm meant to be going to a spiritual network zoom call today, but I'm not sure how well I am to.

Socially and spiritually, I probably ought to - I need some form of connection to people who can understand.

Returning from the zoom call, I smile.

Despite my hot flushes and the general unpleasantness in my body, it was worth it.

Now I feel, somehow, that I can have friends, godly or not, who understand what it's like.

Being godly feels much less daunting now that I'm not alone.

Artio takes a seat alongside me, smiling.

Did it help?

I nod.

People really do understand - especially the danger, and having a target on your back.

Ever since I realised I was a God, I've lived like this - hiding from everything, taking up as little space as possible, panicking at the very thought of conflict, self care and going out. 

Whilst I have definitely been progressing in terms of how far I can go, especially travel wise, this feeling of knowing that there's a group of people like me in real life makes me feel as though there are new possibilities, friendships, moments in time that I can look forward to. 

And for a Time God who for a minute, worried that they had almost nothing? That's everything.

That's the important thing - knowing that you're not alone. 

You and I both know that world deliberately isolated you from people, specifically those that could help you. But now, he can't touch you.

Now that's become the case, we can find you, and we will. But we'll also make sure that you have people like you met today to get you through until then.

I smile.

Trugarez, auntie.

Ma plijadur.

For a minute, I pause.

How do you think I should tell them about everything? Because there's a lot.

Artio hums.

Start from the beginning, I suppose. But give it to them in tidbits - we've all experienced a lot, but especially you, with your specific cult experiences and the horrors that you had to endure. 

Most people would have no idea how it feels for the body to die eight times in one lifetime, for instance. You do.

Well, that's probably part of the reason behind my chronic pain, aside from the eating disorder.

She nods, continuing.

It may be a good idea to broach the idea of the timeline first.

Ahh yes, the torture plot.

For context, this timeline was world's plan to try to either break me or get rid of me - to inflict as much torture as possible onto me.

His plan essentially went thus: for me to meet a fake version of my great aunt Hestia, then meet a fake version of Herne in Herne Bay. From there, I was supposed to lead a godly revolution in England through finding my mother and her side of the family. Not before being killed at least once, of course.

Then, to meet my father, I was to travel to America, find out that I was getting cheated on, travel to base and from there, fail at negotiation with world, which would, in the end, lead to the Gods' War. And again, I'd die a few times. And at two or three points, attempt suicide.

There's far more to it than that, but that's a basic summary of the bullshit world tried with me. And back then, I almost fell for it. If it wasn't for a good friend of mine, I'd probably have died several more times - and fuck knows what happens when my body's death counter gets to ten. Some say that your body falls apart.

Fuck, I made a whole playlist outlining the storyline. This guy was about to turn it into a fully fledged series.

That'll be fun to explain, given how much context there is.

She smirks.

Yup, it's no walk in the park. But someone with experience needs to know.

I nod.

And somehow, I'm sure that I'm attracting them.

She ruffles my hair.

You are, Tavi. Always remember - you're the leader of Gods right now, and you are capable of so much.

Have faith in that.

I grin.

Atav.

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