221 - A God, Envisioning

Lin

Today has, yet again, not gone to plan.

My caseworker has pulled this up though, and is actually trying to arrange for me to get a carer.

Now, the problem with that is that I have no idea how I'd pay for one, given how much I spend.

Also, it's something that I actively avoided whilst with the voldys, as they were hellbent on forcing it onto me, as opposed to letting me grow and choose for myself what was best for me.

Frankly, I believe I can live independently.

I just need the support to recover, at least partially, from both my physical and mental health issues, whilst being properly reintroduced to society.

Crying seems to have helped me process my feelings somewhat.

Praying also did something for me, though I'm not sure what yet.

Somehow, I know some energy blockages have been cleared.

Doing two reiki sessions in the space of two days may have been what caused this.

But the way I see it is that my soul is being purged, somehow - like a load of stagnant energy has been released.

Leaving is a possibility now, and I can feel it.

Yesterday's visit to the faery circle was healing, too.

We got the Fey's blessings, and partied well into the night.

It's been a long time since I was that happy.

Not to mention safe.

Parac'hel walks over to me, setting down a steaming bowl of Breton fish stew.

You've been trist, Tavi. Mar plij, have as much as you want.

My heart grows warm.

Trugarez.

Between intervals of silence, I take small slurps of soup, and bites of bread. I sense both my father's and Parac'hel's worry over this, and it sounds as if they're talking about my state in the kitchen.

*******

Taranis

Watching as Tavi eats the bare minimum, struggling, I sigh. Just as they were improving, as well...

They're sick, aren't they?

Parac'hel gazes at me knowingly. Of course he'd know - he's fostered Lin before.

They are. And I have no idea what I can do about it.

He pats me on the shoulder, gesturing for me to take a seat. I oblige, resting my forearms on the kitchen table.

You may be a God, but first and foremost to Tavi, you are their father. Think about what you know about them - and see if anything sparks joy.

And it all else fails you...

He takes my hands in his.

Just be there.

I nod. Lin has spent most of their life without stable parental figures, so someone needs to take responsibility to help clean up what's left, and make way for new, better things.

You'll get there.

Parac'hel smiles, patting me on the back as he goes to check on the Brezhoneg apple pie in the oven.

I have every faith in you. Show Lin that they can have every faith in you, too.

He emerges with the pie, perfectly golden, and he puts it on the grate on the sideboard to cool. The whole house now smells like autumn, which I know Lin will love.

That gives me an idea.

Where around here does the best milkshakes? And do any of them sell bubblegum flavour?

He grins.

You really do know your kid, eh?

The best around here is Chez Laurette.

I do some quick research, and sure enough, he's right.

Do you want me to drive you? It's a bit of a way at this time.

Sur.

We hop into his Chrysler, make a relatively short drive, procure the milkshake and return in about twenty minutes. 

Ruffling Lin's hair, I set down a small plate of andouillette fries and the bubblegum milkshake. Their face lights up.

Trugarez!

They wrap me in a warm hug, and despite their willowy frame, I can sense their strength, their resolve.

Ma plijadur.

Then, they say something I don't quite expect.

Tadig, I want to live. Can you help me do that?

My heart swells with the enormity of my love for this child - my child.

I'll do everything in my power to help you.