270 - A God, Doubles

Terrence

Lin is stressed, so I'm writing today.

We're in an interesting position, to put it lightly.

Our prayers were, by sheer dumb luck, answered.

Haringey, whilst at times useless, came through for us money wise.

To think we'd get an extra stipend...

Unfortunately, we can't yet spend it, as we don't yet have it - but we will.

Part of me wanted to keep this to myself, but I can sense the in real life incarnation of myself getting closer to Lin and our system.

If anything, it's a relief.

Everything has been happening in reality thus far, but it's complicated to explain.

Multiple timelines are open at once, and Lin sees them all as both separate and together at once, which, for anyone who isn't a Time God, is very fucking confusing.

Being their husband does make it a bit easier for me to see what they see, though.

Reality is many timelines converging at once, and we're living right in the centre of it all.

Frankly, I consider myself lucky to be Lin's husband, in that regard.

Knowing these things helps me help others, like I always wanted to - but Lin also stands as another blessing in my life in and of themself.

They're everything I ever wanted.

And there was once a time when I thought I wouldn't have anyone care about me the way they do.

Yesterday, they mentioned the rabbit incident.

Which I wasn't expecting at all - mainly because it's embarrassing for them, but they seem to view it, at least partially, with a sense of mirth.

Candidly, when Bailey told me the reason why Lin had shapeshifted, I couldn't quite believe it myself.

Looking back on everything I'd been through before that moment, I'd spent a lot of my life being treated inhumanely, so for someone in such a vulnerable (a word I know Lin despises, but it's the best way I can think of to explain it) position, to put their absolute faith in me felt unthinkable at that point, even with how Bailey had treated me up until that point.

Before meeting Bailey and Lin (or Tavi, as they were known back then, when their soul was in less pieces, to put it mildly) isn't a time I enjoy thinking about. My mother was a scientist, and my father was qualified in several fields, including carpentry and standard medical practice, but it wasn't exactly a happy home - but it became worse after my father returned home from the war.

Not long after this, I got kidnapped, for the scientific research my mother had proven to be much more dangerous than anticipated - parabiology, magibiology, of all things, are some of the least safe fields to work in, but with the highest rewards. My mother always wanted to help people, and her research was to help elementals learn to control their powers. Both myself and my mother have elemental traits passed down through the maternal line, so any information she could get through her research would have helped both of us.

Some people, unfortunately, are greedy. So ever since then, I have not seen hide or hair of my parents. I don't even know if they're dead or alive, nor am I sure about my sister, but I'm sure she's out there somewhere, gallivanting across space like she always said she would do.

But I don't like talking about myself - mainly because the whole thing feels like a loose end, a dead end, a cut rope that people try time and again to tie into a noose to hang me by. The idea that I was a monster has long been a fear of mine, from both of my parents' ancestry, as neither of them were or are human. And in that part of the Celtic planet, we were, for some reason, either looked at with reverence or disdain. 

When I escaped with Bailey, and was saved by Lin and their cohort, I made a promise to myself - that the new life I'd lead would be a clean slate, would be about bettering myself, and doing my best to be happy on my own. 

Of course, Lin changed all that.

Not only did I figure out what I was good at aside from my elemental power at their behest, did I also make peace with my abilities - and that was because Lin showed me how to love.

And that is how I fell in love with Lin.

It was a sheer level of kindness, consideration and respect in such a decent manner, that I hadn't even seen the likes of in my mother. (Which is saying something.)

They came barrelling into my life like a loose boulder, knocking everything out that didn't serve me, then helping me to build the pillars of stone that did. 

You want to know why I can be so solid? It's all Lin, whether they realise it or not.

Ma kared.

Lin stands at the door to our hotel with hands on their hips, smirking.

You know what I'm going to say.

I can't help but smicker as they walk towards me, before planting themself on the bed, arms around me.

I saw the foundations and helped you to build on them. You had it in you - and if anything, you did the most. People who saw it could well have helped you, and I'm sure they did.

Bailey, Sweeney and the others definitely did, but I won't let them shortchange themself.

Even so, you were the first - and the most consistent.

At that, they smile. For a while, we sit in silence, taking in the view of the Thames, of St Paul's, of Tower Bridge, of the Shard, from our huge window. To think we'd get a spot in Embankment facing the right way...

I used to always get excited about this view. To be frank, I still do.

Lin's dreams were always far bigger than mine - gargantuan for anyone, in my mind. Yet, I've always felt that somehow, they encompass my dreams, too. It's almost like they intuitively know what I want, regardless of whether or not I tell them about it...

Then again, what am I saying? They're my wife. Of course they know.

As if to sense my inner dialogue, they grin, snuggling up further to me, which I respond to by stroking their head. 

I'm glad I claimed London. It feels almost like a great deal of people can rest, and can breathe.

I nod, letting my hands run through their blond hair, which shines in the city lights that stream into the room from the pitch blackness outside.

I feel it, too.

I really do. Lin makes a brilliant healer, a brilliant leader, a brilliant soldier - and therefore, a brilliant king and Head God. This land can lie easy now.

Dji t'veû vol'tî.

I don't usually outright profess my love to anyone in Walon, but if I'm going to do so with anyone, it's going to be with my wife. 

At my sudden decision to use Walon instead of Brezhoneg, Lin's face flushes bright red, and I laugh as for a minute, they fall onto the bed, covering their face, eventually giggling. After a while, they put their arms around me again, and smile. Then they give me one of the best Walon accents a Brezhonek person has ever given me.

Dji t'veû vol'tî, m'amoûr.