272 - A God, Psychic

Lin

Today was, surprisingly, much less stressful than I thought it would be.

I also did something despite my anxiety around it, which made me so happy that I did.

Admittedly, said thing was difficult because my phone kept overheating and therefore cutting me off in the middle of recording, but we live and we learn.

Honestly, I did almost lose my mind a couple of times, but I got myself together.

My Maman came up in one part of said recording, and I had to act like she wasn't my mother for a minute.

Frankly, I wish I hadn't, but it felt as though I had to make sure I didn't look crazy. Which is the saddest part about it, because she is my real mother.

There will be a time and place to talk about that.

Mama!

She laughs as I jump up and hug her. Right now, we're staying in Hampstead, because it's full of fey, and Hestia has allowed us to come over to her house, which is absolutely huge.

You're trying YouTube out again, are you?

I nod. 

I was thinking I might be able to make it big. Though seeing you in the reading made the whole thing strange.

Placing an arm around me, she quietly ushers me over to the sofa.

In what way?

I sigh, rolling my shoulders.

Not seeing you physically, nor outright evidence that you're my mother in such a long time, makes me feel sad.

She pauses. Usually, I'm not this candid about such feelings. I don't want her to feel guilty. Just as I'm thinking this, she wraps me in a warm embrace, that I wish could last forever.

You know I'll find you, right? Just like everyone has been promising to.

I nod. Quite a few people were saying that they were going to find me, including Terrence. Despite this, it feels like it may never happen. Physically, I've been alone in that timeline for so long, that this lone way of living has become familiar to me.

Even so, it feels as though I'll be waiting forever...

She takes my hands in hers.

Do you remember during your time with the voldys when you used to think you'd have to wait forever to live on your own?

I nod. I'm pretty sure I know what she's getting onto, but I let her continue.

You didn't wait - you even wrote it yourself before you left that you didn't have to. You knew then, and you know now.

Maybe you need to write it into something to guarantee it? I know a lot of what's been happening has been testing your faith, but try to hold out for this one, mat eo din?

Mat eo din.

She's right - I wrote Skeleton On A Park Bench whilst waiting for my life to change, long before I left the voldys. Last time, I had to do something to get what I wanted. But this time...

My Maman found me, and I've been reunited with my real family.

And now, the whole multiverse recognises me as a God.

As Head God.

Perhaps that is all I need to know - that this will happen, and that I have nothing to worry about. I just need to have faith in it, because this time, this situation relies on somebody else finding me.

That counts for Terrence too, as well as other people, who have found me as well - I'm reliant upon their decision, their actions in order to find me.

If it's already woven into the timeline, it's already been set.

Just like The Three Eyed Raven in Game Of Thrones says to Bran: "The ink has dried."

All I can do now is choose how to interpret that ink.

Once I do, everything will fall into place.

Somehow, it feels like hope has been restored for me, somewhat.

Changing my perspective, changing my story, has made my heart so much lighter.

As I think this, Hestia passes me a huge plate of kleftiko with sautéed potatoes, garlic mushrooms and a bottle of cherry loux.

Ευχαριστώ.

She smiles.

Παρακαλώ.

Do you think you'll have room for dessert afterwards?

I pause, deep in thought.

If it's ekmek, then yes.

She laughs, ruffling my hair.

Ενταξει, I'll keep that in mind.

She gives me a quick hug, before going back to the kitchen, presumably to serve everyone else. As she does, I smile.

I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful family.