198 - A God, Getting Somewhere

Lin

Bank holidays can fuck off.

No, seriously. My caseworkers were off, and my anxiety decided to pop in for a visit.

As of right now, I am yet again awaiting an ambulance.

Whether or not they take me to hospital will be another thing entirely, but I can always ask to be taken to Peckwater, given that my mental health was the thing I brought up.

Emergencies like today would be easier if I had more physical support.

Then again, saying that, my godliness may very well be what's pushing people away.

Given that it isn't something I can or would like to change (nor would I ever), I'll have to bear with it.

I'll find my tribe eventually.

One of my neighbour's friends got to talking to me.

He's a nice bloke, but I think he may need a lesson or two on boundaries.

My pupils are also doing the weird 'not relaxing' thing again.

Frankly, it's unnerving, but only seems to happen when I'm alone.

Lying in Terrence's lap, I sigh. Whilst I am stressed, it's always reassuring to have him around, even in the worst of times.

Still waiting?

Ya. They said one to two hours, but they'll probably be a lot later.

Pouting, I push myself up into his chest, and he laughs.

I know, lovely. We'll get there soon.

He holds onto me for a long time, and part way into that snuggle session, I find myself feeling morose. I know he senses it, because he starts running his hands through my hair.

I've got you. And this time, you will get help. Mat eo din?

I nod, sinking further in to listen to his heartbeat. Somehow, it grounds me.

Trugarez.

Ma plijadur.

His voice resonates through my body down to my soul. It feels safe to be seen. To be loved.

Do you think today's spells will work?

For those of you who don't know, the first day of May marks Beltane, the calling of summer and the festival of the Fey folk. The veil between realms is thin now, so I suspect that I'll have answers to my spells soon enough, but I always like to get a second opinion.

They were done by you. Of course they will.

I smile.

Glad to hear that you have faith in me.

As I say this, he lifts my face up to be level with his own.

I'll always have faith in you.

My heart swells. 

Usually, my assumption is that people look at me with some mixture of pity, jealousy and disdain - a God waning with the tides. But Terrence has always viewed me with nothing but love, admiration and respect.

Though my perception of how others perceive me may be a tad askew.

That goes without saying.

I cackle.

Calling me out, are we?

He ruffles my hair, before holding my face in his hands.

Definitely.

Without warning, he peppers my face with kisses, and I giggle.

Mat eo din! I get it!

Smirking, he pulls me back into his arms, nuzzling into my hair.

You're better than you give yourself credit for - and whilst I can't speak for everyone, I can say that most people do like you, and think that you're a good person.

Including me, of course, but you're my wife, so I'm biased. And proud to be.

I can't help but beam. He loves me, even after all these years. 

Karout a ran ac'hanout, ma gwaz.

When he realises what I just called him, his face lights up, and he hugs me slightly tighter.

Karout a ran ac'hanout, ma gwreg.