207 - A God, Always

Lin

Unexpectedly, today I got some much needed rest.

It turns out that tomorrow I'll be going to my therapy session.

Honestly, I'm in a much better mood after yesterday.

Despite my physical symptoms worrying me, I feel like I can try getting help, if I give it my best.

And given the fact that I went to ambulatory care and got tests done, it means that I'm one step closer to going into recovery.

From observing myself, I've been eating better, too.

Truthfully, I'm a bit nervous about tomorrow.

Part of me really wants to mention being a system, but being a system is also a part of my spiritual practice. I suppose it all depends on where I draw the line.

Given the situation, it's probably best that I look into some spiritual psychotherapists myself.

Especially given our position as a system full of Gods, demons and other spirits - we can't be too careful.

I will most likely tell the people at The Listening Place about my suspected DID, but I'll be cautious.

Whilst I do want my godliness acknowledged, it's important that I broach said godliness to the right people, in the right way.

As I ponder over this, my Da takes a seat next to me.

Do you think I'm doing the right thing?

I do.

He smiles.

At least, the right thing for you. Subtlety was never really your cup of tea, was it?

I cackle.

Nann. Not in the slightest.

I think later down the line, people will thank you, though they may not like it now. But that tends to be the way with all kinds of healing.

Then of course, there are people who don't appreciate the healing journey at all. In which case, you drop them into the Underworld.

Yup.

How do you think I should say it?

For a minute, he ponders his answer.

Honesty seems to be most effective for you. I'd say you're probably safe to say what you want, within reason. You know which barriers not to cross.

I know all too well. Dying eight times, cult behaviour, having to sew my own head back on, my daughter - those are all things I'll have to leave behind until I can find concrete evidence of everything I've seen, everything I've experienced. I'll leave all of those things for my spiritual psychotherapist, once myself and the system feel ready to share it.

My whole life has felt like me lying.

He nods.

Such is often the way with us Gods, unfortunately.

But I believe that you can change that.

He ruffles my hair, and I beam.

I'll do my best.

He grins.

Of course, you won't be alone. You'll always have me around in case things get hairy - and Terrence will be staying for the foreseeable future. Your mother and brother probably will, too. 

There are a lot of us, Tavi. If you need anything, all you have to do is ask.

Yet again, I feel my heart swell with pride. Da has a way of instilling me with confidence like no one else can. Somehow, it feels as though my faith has been restored.

Trugarez, tadig.

He smiles yet again, tugging me into one of his bear hugs.

Ma plijadur, ma bugel.